Seeing Is Believing

Tiny red rose hips are aflame and alluring as cornfields brown and swamps glow their familiar purple/yellow hue with the autumnal equinox and Harvest Moon behind us, the waning half-moon reduced to a faint, ghostly mid-morning spy in the clear blue western sky.

You may have noticed my absence the past two weeks. I was away tending to a life-threatening family emergency, yet another surgical intervention, one that nearly took someone dear. But he’s out of the hospital recovering, so here I sit, back in familiar surroundings, thinking about bears and deer, a book, and an important local Paleolithic site that was recently and quietly explored by an eclectic group of “amateur” archaeologists. The veteran researchers hoped to and succeeded in flying under the radar to avoid potential interference or obstruction, uncovering many extraordinary artifacts along the way in square, layered holes dug by hand with shovel and trowel on a sandy Sugarloaf skirt. But let’s start with an appetizer on bears to get it quickly behind us, then move to a brief deer observation before rolling up our sleeves, tucking our napkins behind our collars and diving into the meat and potatoes.

Mid-afternoon Saturday, seeking distraction from my son’s serious situation, I was reading in the bright sunny parlor off the carriage sheds, sun backlighting the pages through the large plate-glass door, when silence was interrupted by what sounded like a hunter firing five shots in a familiar cadence that immediately captivated me.

“Pow-pow-pow!” The first report sounded.

Then, a few seconds later, another echoing “Pow!” followed by a few minutes of hollow silence and a final “Pow!” likely the coup de grace. This barrage emanated from the wooded ridge west and south of me, cornfields below, orchards above, hickory groves in between. Is there a more likely spot for a bear to die on the final day of the three-week September hunting season? If all goes as expected, by the time the second segment of the split six-week season ends in mid-November, we may see as many as 160 kills, less than half the annual harvest officials deem necessary to stabilize a burgeoning Bay State bear population that could become problematic if it isn’t already.

I suppose I could ask a middle man’s permission to phone checking stations and compile a preliminary harvest like I always did years back, before all the stifling new rules and regs and state protocols. But, no, must be I’m getting stubborn in old age, have given up on weak-kneed kowtows so am now reduced to the pitiful state of waiting for press releases like the rest of the struggling print media. It’s not my preferred news-gathering method. No, it’s the state’s way, and I guess I must live with it as I fade toward what I pray will be a productive and creative retirement, maybe even one laced with genuine passion. I guess officials figure it’s safer to control all outgoing “news” nowadays, which, of course, becomes history by the time newspapers get it. Come to think of it, I haven’t even seen the spring turkey-harvest figures yet. Go figure. The season ended in May. Maybe the Westborough office’s calculator is busted. And they call this progress? Not me. I call it boooooooring and unacceptable, can’t flee fast enough from “news” like that.

Truth be told, I used to enjoy chasing down preliminary bear harvests with former professorial state Bear Project Leader Jim Cardoza, now retired. In fact, I looked forward to it. But there must have been someone who didn’t appreciate me consistently beating him to the umbers (hint-hint, one of few Pioneer Valley outdoor scribes with a longer reign than me). So now we have rules to assure “fairness,” that is a routine that provides all media with the same press releases at the same hour, guaranteeing that radio and TV breaks the “news” before newspapers. What gives? Are there not rewards for diligent pursuit by determined scribes who’ve built their sources’ trust? No sir, not today, even in a politically correct, dog-eat-dog, violent capitalistic society. Hey, isn’t that oxymoronic? Or am I straight-up crazy?

As for deer, well, what I have to say is hardly worth a new paragraph in these days of tight news holes — just that it amazes me how the deer I’ve been monitoring all year seem to bed down in shin-high hayfields nightly, probably out of sight to all but the keenest outlaws shining fields with headlights at night. I pass their matted beds daily on my morning walks with the dogs, most often two but sometimes as many as five right in the middle of dense red-clover patches. So put that in you pipe and smoke it, fellas, and file it for future reference. When the pressure’s on, deer will hide in swamps and fields where they were born. Bank it!

But enough trivial stuff … on to recent reading, a paperback review copy of soon-to-be-released “Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants” — an important collection of essays by a wise wilderness voice named Robin Wall Kimmerer, a professor and member of the Potawatomi Nation who lives outside of Syracuse, NY, where she teaches at SUNY College of Environmental Science and Forestry. All I can say is it’s a blessing for those who murdered and drove her people from their homeland and stole their land that Indians like her had no written language way back when, because had they been able to articulate their message like Kimmerer, they would have gained many allies and been much tougher for utilitarian Christian mercenaries to defeat for the public good; oh yes, always for the public good, it defined by government greed and injustice. These deceptive leaders anointed by election create frightful demons, brainwash the uninformed and dazed to a state of intense fear and hatred, then send them off as twisted soldiers to dispose of fictitious devils.

I discovered Kimmerer in Orion magazine, a literary publication headquartered in Great Barrington, printed in Dalton and dedicated to nature/culture/place — my kinda reading. I found her holistic world view refreshing in the article, Council of the Pecans, then in “Braiding Sweetgrass” skipped over it and another essay I had previously read online about the human defilement of Syracuse’s Onondaga Lake. I would recommend Kimmerer’s new book to anyone, even political enemies who may yet see the ray of light shining in from a sacred faraway place where plants and animals, wind and water and the landscape are viewed a brothers and sisters, not servile beasts to be raped and pillaged for profit. Kimmerer fears it may already be too late. So do I. But it’s never too late to read the likes of her when searching for new wisdom and alternative thinking. What a sweet breath of fresh air she is. “Braiding Sweetgrass” is a great coffee-table book, one you shouldn’t blow through quickly. No, you’ll get much more out of it by just reading a chapter here and there and probing the depths of each dynamic message.

So now let me close with a few observations about that archaeological dig I observed intermittently between trips to the hospital in Springfield the past two weeks. The site is located close to Interstate 91 between home and hospital, and it just so happened to be on land deeply stained with my DNA and quite familiar for many other reasons. Led by Dr. Richard Michael Gramly — a respected, published Harvard PhD and American Society for Amateur Archaeology founder — his sophisticated work crew included a star-studded cast of experienced excavators, all of them present on their own dime, donating their time and paying out of pocket for lodging. Also randomly visiting the site on various days were many world-renowned experts in the field of Paleo archaeology, all of them passing through to observe the dig and add perspective. Among the diggers toiling for 14 days in the hot sun were respected authors, college professors, museum curators, magazine editor/publishers, and learned archaeological “hobbyists,” some retired for years and carrying PhD’s in other fields, not to mention brains bulging with valuable archaeological-excavation experience.

Why were these folks there, straddling the Whately/Deerfield line between barns filled with drying field tobacco and a long tall mound of dirt covering an important Paleo site discovered in 1978, yet still waiting for interpretation? Because, according to scholar Duncan Caldwell and other unimpeachable on-site sources, it may be the most important Paleo site in America this side of the Mississippi River. Google Mr. Caldwell, who I personally met and took on a brief tour last week, if there are any doubts about his credibility. He may be the world’s most respected Paleo authority. He left the site Friday headed for Columbia University, where he was scheduled for a guest lecture before departing for his winter Paris home.

Among the participating “amateur” archaeologists, all of them veterans of many Gramly digs worldwide, was a retired Connecticut brain surgeon and his wife — she perhaps the preeminent authority on Northeastern lithics — as well as a retired PhD chemist with degrees from Dartmouth and Cornell who’s been with Gramly from the start. That’s just a few. There were many, many others folks with equally impressive archaeological credentials.

All I can say is that now that I’ve seen “amateurs” in action, maybe I’ll get a chance to observe a “professional” dig. You know, one led by academics and state officials who delight in throwing spiteful stones at Gramly and his impeccable entourage. For me, seeing is believing and, my oh my, did I ever get an eyeful between trips to my son’s hospital bed. So stay tuned. I’m just getting started. Promise. Unless the state archaeological junta can succeed in silencing the messenger and keeping important prehistoric discoveries buried under long, lean mounds of dirt they ordered dumped.

The ice is broken. For that we can thank a daring and enthusiastic man named R.M. Gramly, a Harvard man who’s a rebel and a scholar. He’s twice displayed the courage to defy bureaucratic opposition and explore the important site, previously in 1995. And although he’s passed 70 and says he doesn’t intend to return in a leadership role, someone undoubtedly will,  maybe one of his protégés. Let’s hope so.

Candid Camera

The sky was gray, swallows skimming the hayfield, flying low, their glee palpable — swooping, darting, looping, but mainly hugging the surface, devouring insects in midair. The lively activity had Chub-Chub all revved up, sprinting, bouncing, cutting left and right like a gifted NFL receiver adding to his yards-after-catch in the open field. What a beautiful sight to observe, the athletic 2-year-old Springer Spaniel doing what he’s bred to do: chase birds. Even the birds, barn swallows I think, seem to enjoy the little game, staying just out of reach, teasing and tantalizing Chubby like that mechanical rabbit out in front of the field at greyhound tracks, never a chance of getting caught.

Actually, swallows aren’t the only attraction in the bottomland hayfields I frequent. There are also sparrow-like field-nesters that sit tight and flush only when the dogs get right in their kitchen. I find it curious how Chubby watches but really hasn’t shown much interest in those birds. Lily, on the other hand, aggressively seeks them out daily, has for months, loves to follow her nose into tight flushes. Then the chase begins, an all-out sprint. Hey, she once even caught one a month or so back, it must have been defective in some way. Strong survive, weak perish: of yes, the golden rule of nature. Plus there’s always the scent of turkeys and Canada geese, especially on damp, gray, low-pressure mornings that keep scent clinging to the ground, even though the birds are long gone by the time we arrive, their lingering scent still worthy of investigation by tail-wiggling bird dogs.

I think “the kids” know bird season is near. They’re not alone. I too am anticipating it. But we’re not there yet. No, bear season opened Tuesday, and it just so happens that I’ve run into tidbits of information here and there. So, let’s start with a follow-up on that bear that deposited the scat pile I discovered and wrote about last week, then move on to an interesting little tale I bumped into during an impromptu chat with a farm hand who hunts and has trail-cameras in the woods on the east side of the Connecticut River. The young, sociable man had not only an interesting tale to tell but photos to boot, a wonderful development for a man like me, always searching. I’ve learned that you never know what you’re going to run into if you just keep dropping one foot in front of the other, observing, your mind traipsing off into dark, dusty, hidden chambers, the moods running the gamut from utter despair to titillating euphoria.

But back to that bear scat I discussed last week. It seems the neighbors have been aware of that bear’s presence awhile, have seen it coming in and out of the Greenfield Meadows cornfields between roads named Colrain, Plain and Meadow Lane. Although the black beast’s around, I can’t say I’ve seen any more sign of him since he left that humongous, sculpted calling card for me last week. My guess is that I haven’t seen the last of this creature, though — just a hunch.

As for the farm hand’s tale, well, he stopped his small green tractor when we by chance met in a short wooded lane between a vast hayfield and a secluded three-acre plot known for ages to the owners as Hideaway. He was on his way in to mow clover, timothy and other grasses that have grown about knee-high between rows of Christmas trees, I departing. We often chat in passing, usually about wildlife developments around Sunken Meadow. I most often find him down there in the lower level. Not this time. No sir. This meeting occurred up above, where I immediately noticed some sort of a rectangular, camouflage contraption that looked like a cell phone attached to his belt. I could see he wanted to talk and allowed him room to preface his tale uninterrupted, me just standing, listening and waiting for the story to bloom. When he got to the meat and potatoes about a mysterious woodland pest that had disrupted his trail-cam, he reached for the cell phone, removed it from his belt and started sliding through screens of photos from a trail-cam card.

First, though, a little background, beginning with his trip into the woods over Labor Day Weekend to tidy up a couple of deer stands not far west of the sandy, tick-infested plain made famous by tower-toppling Sam Lovejoy in 1974. One of his setups was a tall ladder stand, the other a portable tree stand he was upgrading. It was near the tree stand that he had installed the trail-cam that captured the shots he shared with me. The camera was chained waist-high around a medium-sized oak to discourage theft. When he scanned the area looking it from the tree his stand was fastened to, he couldn’t easily locate it and immediately suspected something wasn’t right. Then, when he finally pinpointed what he believed to be the right tree, he could not see the camera and went to investigate, suspecting mischief. As it turned out, he had the right tree, and upon closer inspection, the camera was still chained to it. The problem was that it had been pushed down to the base, the camera face-down on the ground. Hmmmmm? This really piqued his curiosity, knowing a small critter like a squirrel had zero chance of accomplishing such a defiant feat.

Hopefully, the camera would solve the mystery, and indeed it had captured the entire process in vivid color. The culprit was a large male bear or boar of bruin, which must have been camera-shy; either that or unfriendly to new territorial invaders. The scene made it clear that the beast wanted no part of the unusual unidentified object chained to a tree on its turf and thus proceeded to do all in its power to remove it, possibly because it or the area carried detectable human scent.

The photos showed several shots of the bruin so close to the lens that it was impossible to identify the dark, furry vandal. But finally appeared a clear shot of the beast peeking around a smaller oak tree facing the camera, then subsequent shots of it standing up on its hind legs to scratch its back on the rough red-oak trunk, a comical sight to behold. When the big fella had soothed its itch, it visited the camera, which showed a close-up of the animal’s ear, followed by a blurry paw, then a view of the stony earth and dirty darkness. The photo dates indicated that the big bear comes through the area every two or three weeks, which could change once the acorns mature and drop. The young man hopes to get a crack at that large, territorial beast but would prefer it to arrive well before dark. The problem is that such a kill will create a difficult chore of dragging its carcass from woods, a project always complicated by darkness.

Perhaps my buddy’s chances are slim because he’s dealing with a smart animal that’s grown large for good reason. Photos display a beast that is intelligent, cautious, and definitely knows his terrain better than any man ever will.

But, hey, there’s room for optimism, given what my buddy knows. Sometimes even wise old creatures make silly mistakes, especially when chasing women. That’s what my buddy will be hoping for — one of those right-place, right-time scenarios we have all experienced or at caught wind of.

Omen Bruin?

Does a bear spit in the woods? You betcha! Sunken Meadow, too.

As usual, I would have walked right past the large, tidy pile along the edge of a thin swamp Monday morning had it not been for the grande dame herself, Springer Spaniel Lily, 9, who on her daily ramble around the plot smelled something new and intriguing, stopped, wheeled back, nose high and dropped it to the ground through tall weeds to a dense red-clover underbody. When I took a look, sure enough, bear scat piled like a dish of hard ice cream. Dr. Oz would have sung praise to the heavens, ladies giggling, for such a healthy specimen. I called Lily off before she did anything nasty with it and we moved right along, me with something new to ponder. Hmmmm? Why was that bear patrolling my haunts? Then I thought back maybe 10 minutes. We were passing two large red oaks standing tall and proud near the top of the escarpment lip looking down over Sunken Meadow, not 200 feet from the pile. After passing those two trees daily for months without giving them much notice, Lily had caught wind of something there and was actually interested enough to bust through the dense, tangled perimeter and venture some 20 or 30 feet through thin, mature hardwoods before looping back to rejoin me and Chub-Chub. Maybe it was faint old bear scent she had detected. Perhaps the ground below those two oaks was littered with acorns, although, curiously, I had seen or stepped on none recently that I could remember.

Of course, there are many other potential bear lures nearby, including a vegetable garden that drew a big bruin last year around this time, plus many expansive, ripe cornfields, some large beech trees, and a large riverside apple tree that’s overburdened with green fruit, many drops below. Yes, several potential reasons for a bear visit.

Plus, there’s always the bear-season factor. Could it possibly be that it was a wise old beast which sensed the opening of bear season next week, thus is taking precautions to get out of harm’s way in bottomland marshes. Who knows? Unlike award-winning scientists whose observations are constricted by narrow academic disciplines, I never rule anything out in the world of the unknown. In fact, just this week I read a fascinating Orion Magazine piece by Robin Wall Kimmerer, and Indian professor who suggests that pecan and other trees and plants are capable of communicating with each other, a claim that would for sure incite doctrinaire pleas to commit her for 30 days observation. But Kimmerer isn’t crazy, she just harbors a world view that doesn’t fit the consciousness of our “corporatocracy,” that coalition of government, banks and corporations that fuels wars and destroys the planet for profit.

But enough of that, back to the bear. I came equipped for a little field research Tuesday, toting along a small digital camera just in case there was anymore sign to evaluate. Plus, I wanted to check for acorns on the ground below those two large oaks, which, to my surprise, were barren. Definitely not what I expected. I have noticed acorns elsewhere and received random email reports indicating it’s a good year for them in the hills. Not in Sunken Meadow, where they don’t seem to be on the ground below or the branches of those two majestic red oaks. On the other hand, the most accessible beech tree appeared to be full of nuts clinging to the branch tips in golden-brown, thorny clusters. I assume those husks and the tiny, three-sided nuts inside will soon be scattered below on the ground. For that matter, they may already be there. I confess I didn’t bother busting through the dense wild-rose-bush border to explore the ground closer to the massive trunk of that tall, smooth, gray tree, a large leader of which used to reach out over the meadow before Irene’s powerful winds snapped it off.

From the lack of new sign Tuesday and Wednesday, my guess is that the bear, probably a lone bruin, was just passing through overnight Sunday and didn’t stick around, because there is no additional evidence along my trodden trail. I would have snapped a shot of the scat pile had it not been flattened by a tractor that mowed between the Christmas trees. Lily discovered it, dropped her head and slid down on her back, ready to roll with carnal glee before I ordered, “Leave it!” and we moved along, her with a manageable mess to clean. I knew there was an easy solution. At the tall apple tree overlooking Green River, I picked up a golf-ball-size green apple, teased slightly scat-smeared Lily with it and tossed it into the water for her to retrieve. By the time she returned with it, laid down and devoured it, what scat she had picked up seemed to be gone.

I didn’t venture into the swamp t’other side the beaver dam to search for additional bear sign, but did examine the tilled western edge of the upper cornfield and found not a track. I’d guess there’s corn damage nearby and hope the big fella doesn’t visit my yard anytime soon. If he does, I will definitely have a chainsaw project on my hands. A large limb reaching southwest over the road from my apple tree is heavy with fruit and will easily snap off if a bear climbs it for dinner. I won’t worry about it, though. If a bear doesn’t break it, I’ll have to prune it anyway come winter.

Before I go, a surreal little tale worth sharing. When it happened just after 1 o’clock Saturday afternoon, I went to the other end of the house to get my wife and show her the aftermath of the spooky scenario I had heard unfold on my porch. When I asked her if she thought I should write about it, she looked at me bemusedly and said, “Yeah, why not?” Because, I told her, readers may think I’m nuts. But I’ll take my chances. So here it is, a true, fresh story, beginning from the source.

My last two trips through the Bookmill in Montague turned up some interesting reading, two paperback books about Indians familiar to me since boyhood. One of them, “Black Elk Speaks,” is about the father of a Sioux actor with whom I as a young boy ate a buffalo burger below Mount Rushmore. The other, “Son of Mashpee,” is the biography of Earl Mills Sr., who I had heard much about from my dad. Mills was my dad’s football teammate at Arnold College in Milford, Conn. Since 1957, he has been known to the Wampanoag Nation as Chief Flying Eagle.

Having just read about the genesis of this chief’s name and flipped to Page 82, I heard what sounded like a door slamming loudly, followed by a furious sweeping or rustling across the porch floor, then total silence in the hot summer air. “Joey,” I hollered, thinking maybe my wife had on an afternoon whim decided to sweep the porch. When there was no answer, I knew she wasn’t responsible. Curious, I rose from my chair and walked to the porch to investigate. It had to have been some sort of critter. I looked through the door and saw nothing unusual, but when I opened it, I soon discovered what appeared to be a young crow propped up on partially opened wings, head up, back facing me a step down on the stone terrace. When I noticed the wide white band across the end of its half-fanned, V-shaped tail, I knew it was no crow and took a step down to get a closer look. The bird turned its head and I could see it was a hawk or falcon with a distinctive hooked, meat-tearing beak. I didn’t have time to investigate further because the stunned bird regained its wits, took flight, and attempted to fly into a ballroom window before vanishing over the roof toward Smead Hill. Weird, huh? Could it have been some sort of an omen from the Wampanoag Nation? Was Mills dead, his spirit in the neighborhood? My wheels were spinning to a shrill scream. The bird was not recognizable to me, yet for some reason, as I read about the naming of Chief Flying Eagle, it tried to enter my dining room.

Blown away, I walked out to my wife and brought her to the scene. When we arrived, I found three tiny feathers, probably from the bird’s head, stuck to the upper pane of the two-light, double-hung window closest to the screen door. I fetched a digital camera and snapped off a few quick photos, but being no photographer, they came out blurry. Then, just for posterity, I pulled the three little feathers off the glass and dropped them deep between pages of the book close to its spine. I Googled Mills, found that he’s 84, alive and well. So I dropped him an as-yet unanswered email attempting to arrange a fall rendezvous. I’d like to meet the man, will probably bring my dad along. My brother lives in nearby Plymouth.

What can I say? You can’t make it up. In my mind, the afternoon visit from that young, never-to-be- identified raptor could not have been a coincidence; not given the circumstances. No, to me it felt like an omen, of what I cannot say. I’ve read about many similar occurrences in Indian mythology, and they always captivate my imagination, get me thinking, wondering why we ever assumed we’d be better off without the indigenous North Americans that were here to greet us. And when I race off on that tangent, I admit it’s hard not to conclude that we may have been better off had we let them show us how to live on their homeland.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Stinkbait Cider

Fruit season is upon us along with the Full Sturgeon Moon, said to be a blue moon despite being the only full moon we’ll see this month. Why? Well, occasionally we have an extra, fourth moon during a three-month season and it and the one that follows are considered blue. That’s the situation this summer. So, yes, you can call that warm, bright, waning moon in the southern midnight sky blue, even though to me it appears joyous.

Something interesting about Indian moon names that correspond with important seasonal plants, crops, fish, animals and activities is that they were of a regional flavor, with slight variations even among tribal brothers right here in the Pioneer Valley. For example, unlike their northern kin the Pocumtuck and Norwottuck here in Franklin/Hampshire, the Agawams of Hampden County were below the sugar-maple line of demarcation, thus had no moon associated with the gathering of maple syrup like their abutting northern brothers. The same held true across the continent, where north, south, east and western tribes depended on different plants, animals, nuts, berries, fruits and roots for sustenance, thus their moons carried many different but related names. But enough on moons — back to fruit, which, judging from the two apple trees with which I am most familiar, seems to be bountiful this year. Worth noting is the fact that neither of my most familiar trees, one reaching out over to the road passing my front yard, receives any human assistance and are thus in my mind “wild,” mine sporting red apples, the other green, both carrying heavy fruit that’s straining their limbs after a barren 2012.

I must admit I was interested indeed to discover while patrolling the Heath Fair Saturday afternoon that I’m not the only one monitoring my roadside apple tree, which in my memory has never held so many apples. Old cider distiller and softball pal Steve Coutu of Colrain’s been watching it, too, and told me so. He also said that back in his distilling days, apples like those stressing out my tree’s limbs were his favorite. When I invited him to come on down and take all he wanted, then bring me back a couple of jugs of hard stuff to squirrel away in my damp, dusty cellar wine-and-preserve closet at the base of an eight-foot-square brick chimney, he chuckled and admitted he no longer dabbles. Oh well, I guess times change as gray hair blooms. What a shame. I’ve sampled old “Whack-Whack’s” hard cider and would love to have a couple of glass gallon jugs — you know, the ones with those little thumb handles on their short necks — in reserve for special occasions with old friends or special guests, likely enjoying the home-brew in front of a warm, crackling taproom fire as mischievous tavern spirits dance to finger-picking Mississippi John Hurt’s “Hot Time in the Old Town,” “Nobody’s Dirty Business” or “Candy Man” on Pres Speakers. Ah yes, they say fantasy is healthy for the sick mind. I would guess I qualify. Then again, I suppose some would call me sick in the head while others view me quite normal. It’s all relative, but way too late to change now. So why even attempt to smooth off those corners to squeeze myself into that tidy round hole bored into red sandstone ledge years ago by industrious “good boys” from old Troop Wequamps or whatever it was called? All I know is it wasn’t for me. We all make choices in life and, like them, I have no regrets about the path I selected and still prefer to travel. Different strokes for different folks. But wouldn’t it be nice if conventional folks would accept autonomy? Don’t worry, I won’t hold my breath waiting. Such straight and narrows view autonomy as a dangerous form of anarchy and are not hesitant to lather up evangelical mobs to a boisterous, rising crescendo of worship in the Sunday chapel during frothy tirades against acts of individual sovereignty, a concept oh so threatening to those shepherding obedient flocks.

Oooops! There I go again. How’d we get onto that topic? Time to leap back into placid waters — far, far away from those troubling images of racks, gallows, scaffolds, faggot-ringed wooden stakes and shallow stoning pits of Christian infamy. How about catfish derbies? Is that benign enough for the pale, timid and compliant? Yes sir, so let’s go there.

It’s funny how these tales get started. You see, last week when I couldn’t squeeze into this weekly space a quick, last-minute reminder of last weekend’s fourth-annual Last-Cast Catfish Derby — founded and run by brothers Gary and Eric Hallowell and headquartered at the Turners Falls Rod & Gun Club on the northern shores of Barton Cove — I was feeling guilty and didn’t have enough material for a full second column inside. Puzzled by the dilemma, I brought the information to work, handed it to a hard-working colleague I call the “Big Boiczyk” and asked him to post it in the Bulletin Board on our sport pages. A first for him, a native no less, he studied the poster and press release and was immediately intrigued; so much so that he quickly engaged a news scribe from the other end of the newsroom and me in lively conversation about the fine art of catfishing. When he had formed a clear picture of what such extravaganzas are about — the lanterns, stinkbait, coolers and wee-hour campfire conversation — he proposed to the news scribe that they gather a last-minute gang and enter, said it sounded like a splendid way to spend a Saturday night off with the fellas; yes, right up his alley. The newsroom discussion appeared to have potential and even sprouted temporary legs that were promising before petering out and never making it out of the workplace. No, predictably, the fanciful adventure never materialized, but I wouldn’t count it out for next year. Trust me. Just a hunch.

What would lead me to such a conclusion, you ask? Well, upon arriving for my shift Monday evening, the weekend in the rear-view, there on my desk chair sat a couple of sheets of face-down paper the Big Boiczyk had somehow missed. I picked them up, read them over, uttered a little chuckle and handed them to him, tanned to a deep workingman’s red. What I had was a list of Last-Cast winners, a quick little press release and a photo (above) of grand-prize winner ($100) Leonard Lenois of Erving proudly displaying his lunker, 18.49-pound channel cat and wearing that twilight twinkle in his eyes that any night creature worth his salt has seen many times. Or would you call it a glaze? Ahhh, why quibble over irrelevant semantics? Call it what you want to, but my guess is that with a year to float the idea and solidify plans, the Big Boiczyk may yet assemble a catfishing crew for a “Life & Times” or “Outdoors” feature that could develop into something borderline acceptable for a family newspaper. No, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if he assembles a capable and incorrigible crew. He’s shown what I interpret as genuine enthusiasm for the concept, even though he works the family farm and the derby happens to fall during the peak of the season. Hey, that’s o excuse. He used to take time off to attend NASCAR in New Hampshire in a happy-hour Winnebego.

The clincher may be that he asked his dad if he had ever been catfishing, the answer was yes and he even remembered using salt pork for bait. I told him that grizzled veterans would admit salt pork works but not nearly as good as ripe, rancid meat stored in a covered galvanized pail left hanging in the sun for a few days off a clothesline post. As you can imagine, one whiff of the contents of such a pail opened on the convivial riverbank for the first time is apt to water your eyes, gag you and much worse upon pulling off the squeaky-tight cover. That’s why they call it “stinkbait,” the real deal, the type crusty old trappers used to store double- and triple-bagged out in the old, rusty freezer in the barn, right next to the buttery, itself most often ripe indeed.

As for Lenois’ derby-winning 18.49-pound catfish, it seems to me that it’s a big Channel Cat, significantly larger than others I recall winning derbies over the past 30-some years. But I’m no expert and have not myself caught a catfish since fishing the Mississippi River as a schoolboy with my mother’s cousin, John Berg, who owned a Stockton, Ill., gun and tackle shop. Although my memory has at times proven to be not quite as reliable as I believe it to be, and there’s no easy way to check records from previous derbies, my sense is that this could be the biggest catfish I’ve ever reported. I may be wrong, but it seems to me that previous winners have ranged between 13 and 15 pounds, so 18½ is big, as the photo displays.

As much as I’d like to jump into recent reading that’s troubling indeed, and/or adventures with the grandsons, who have been with me a week now, I’m outta time and space. Off I go, probably to the Green River with dogs and kids. I’ll splash around with them, admire the kids’ youthful energy and know full well that their teenage years will soon be upon us, dramatically changing riverside and other dynamics.

Afraid? Worried?

Hell no! I can’t wait to give them a little grandfatherly advice; you know, the type guardians of freedom would vociferously object to.

Summer Breeze

The chimney sweep’s come and gone, a half-moon shines, the marsh is turning purple and fall is in the air.

Ah, what a difference a day makes. Just another miracle of the life we take for granted, a life governed by nature and wicked, greedy, cookie-cutter men pulling diabolical strings. But why dwell on the obvious and depressing? Let’s keep it happy.

I suspected it pointless to sit here when I did noontime Tuesday to compose my thoughts following a muggy, rainy, thought-provoking romp. I had seen the forecast and knew better weather was on the horizon, a change that would likely alter my perspective. But trust me, somehow I’ll find my way back, a transition to those original thoughts. And besides, what’s a freakin’ day between friends? Bear with me.

So, yeah, here I sit Wednesday morning, having just returned from the same expansive green hayfield visited yesterday at the same time. One difference was that as I rose out of the first shallow dip and climbed the subtlest of slopes to the second double-rutted farm road I daily cross — Chub-Chub racing toward the narrow riverside cornfield carrying high and proud a fat yellow castoff cuke — and there, in the rich verdant distance stood a dozen or so gray geese, harbingers of a season the clear windy air smelt of. Then began my constant gourd games, those of innate curiosity, games I know well by now and become better acquainted with by the day, the week, the month, the year, then off to the grave I guess, not a thing you can do to stop it. My question of the moment was: How long before Lily and Chubby — both out of sight in the tall corn, probably chasing turkey scent they daily hunt so furiously — discovered the tall, still, alert geese I was trying to skirt as they stood cautiously content to let me pass?

My guess was that Chub-Chub would catch wind of them first. He covers much more ground than his 9-year-old mom these days out of sheer youthful enthusiasm and love of untethered freedom in vast acreage — woods here, croplands there, strips of trees, marshy fingers, beaver ponds, a rattling river, and scent scattered about like blithe spirits of the dead. No sooner had that thought passed through my mind and here comes Chubby, identifiable by his distinctive walnut-brown head and an off-center vertical sliver of broken white running down his forehead and nose, headed straight at the flock. Despite being more than 100 yards cross-downwind of the geese, he already had a noseful and was on a hell-bent mission from Satan, one that was not undetected by the skittish geese, who started getting fidgety and ran a bit before finally taking flight, Chubby right on their fanned tails. The birds flew over a hazardous paved road before circling back and Chubby wanted to give chase before I gave him an authoritative whistle to turn back. As he sprinted toward me, I extended my right arm out front like I had just pitched a softball, then pulled it slowly back toward my hip, a signal directing him to a familiar spot between my parted, standing knees. He arrived, stopped on a dime, spun an athletic half-circle and sat for a brief, panting, affectionate petting of his breast bone before sprinting off toward the cornfield. He disappeared and soon exited with Lily, both looking for me, their tails wiggling furiously in unison. Our walk had begun, a joyful bounce in both dogs’ step, mine too, under cool grey skies.

So here I sit, right where I left off Tuesday, sort of. Yeah, sort of. Always sort of. Depending, I suppose, on what I’m reading at the time. Yesterday it was Henry Miller, today Haniel Long, before that Cora Morris, prior who knows? Maybe Thoreau on birds, Joyce railing against the Catholic Church or education, our own Edward Bellamy’s utopian society, and on and on and on. I even have a fresh, unexpurgated edition of Lawrence’s “Son’s and Lovers” sitting right here in the bookcase, found it on my weekly run through the Bookmill, a weekly stops. Seems I always find something at that old riverside gristmill, most recently a book I had not heard of in my Indian-spirituality study: “Stories From North American Mythology,” a rare 1924 hardcover published by Boston’s Marshall Jones Company. I paid dearly for it, a good purchase nonetheless, regardless of what my wife thinks. Hopefully someday my grandsons will sell it for three times what I paid, but I do hope they read it first. Really. You can’t beat the Indians’ way of thinking, in my mind. Just me. But let’s not digress. I could get carried away. Back to where it all began: noontime Tuesday, a warm rain falling, wet hair brushed neatly behind my ears after a quick shower following a snappy walk with the dogs around Sunken Meadow — the damp, musky smell overwhelming, a thinking-man’s air, thought-provoking indeed.

The image I couldn’t shake that day was a familiar, white, plastic, four-legged utility sink installed in the laundry room during renovation of my old South Deerfield home some 25 years ago. To that work station I took my messiest washing chores, half-filling the 20-gallon cauldron, squishing out a generous squirt of industrial-strength soap and going right to town on whatever it was I had to scrub, the shiny, brown, speckled linoleum floor underfoot no concern, so easy to clean no matter how splashy I got. As a boy I remember that same space as a dark, dirt-floor shed with a rickety, railing-ed walkway leading back to another worn, dusty but sturdy staircase that took a right turn up to the second-storey shed and the upstairs back door. But let’s not get distracted by distant Pleasant Street memories. That old shed has absolutely nothing to do with where I’m headed. No, just a flashback I decided to share before sketching the salient image that consumed me during that rainy ramble: that of pulling the plug from that utility sink and watching the water swirl rapidly down the drain, appearing to accelerate before concluding with a prolonged, disgusting belch not unlike the sound I make when playfully pronouncing the first syllable of a Hampshire County town first called Cold Spring, where Greenfield’s first minister, Rev. Billings, moved to town from.

The sight of water spiraling down a powerful upside-down cyclone in that old sink came to mind as I approached my parked truck and decided to hurry home and record my thoughts before they disappeared forever down that drain. Yes, it had gotten intense indeed and was, in my opinion anyway, worth capturing during these lean days of local sports activity in Recorder land. I didn’t even want to shower for fear my thoughts would flitter off elsewhere as they often do, especially when making discoveries during provocative reading binges. But I was confident I could recapture most of it. Who knew? Maybe I could even expand upon it once seated in my sacred little cubby of creativity, better still in winter with a toasty fire crackling behind me.

There’s no denying the impetus for my thought train was Henry Miller, that painfully honest and sometimes naughty 20th century American author I’ve been exploring again. Having blown through my first read of “The Books in My Life” and wanting more Miller, I dug out “Black Spring” for a second read in three years and was spellbound in the fourth chapter, A Tailor Shop, when, before 9 a.m., a robust knock on the dining-room door announced the expected chimney-sweep’s arrival. A pleasant young goateed chap with the devil in his eye, I enjoy chatting with him, winding him up, so to speak, a Vermonter to the core. In an hour the kid swept clean the chimney supporting two woodstoves — one upstairs, one down — repaired with a dab of stove cement a loose piece of gasket hanging from inside the downstairs stove’s windowed door, and was on his way to his next job with a $155 check for Friends of the Sun in tow. Oh well, beats the alternative, I guess. We all know the pathetic image: a couple of tall, lonely chimneys protruding like war ruins from a stone-clad rubble pit.

But enough of that, though, back to irascible Miller, an American literary giant few seem to have read. No, not even American intellectuals from the best schools, they focused instead on the likes of Updike and Kingsolver, Kidder and McPhee, McCarthy and you name it, all conventional voices who play by the rules, sell truckloads of books and have not nearly as much to say as Miller. In my mind, it’s not even close. I have read them all and they pale in comparison to Miller, a behemoth in a thin field of truly great American literary artists. I recall reading a Barbara Kingsolver interview a few years back where she claimed her novels were not autobiographical, just playful creations of her imagination. I didn’t believe a word of it, never will and — despite her status as a contributing editor for Orion magazine, which I faithfully read and hold deep reverence for — I have never read another word by her because of this perceived dishonesty. My feelings about her mirror the ones I harbor for a therapist or marriage counselor with whom I once spun off into convivial conversation at a party I attended with my wife. When he asked for my world view and I wandered into existentialism, he looked me square in the eye with a concerned countenance reminiscent of straight, stern classroom pedagogues I grew to know and hate, and said in a condescending manner that, “Existentialism is passé.” Never again did I seek him out for discussion or, when trapped, listen to a word he said. Conversation between us was pointless. He, a therapist or shrink no less, was a waste of time. Oh my! And he gets paid for his advice? Horrors! Oh well, I guess there’s always pills, if that’s the remedy you’re seeking: what I refer to as the impersonal, pharmaceutical solution; better still, the way it is.

I can’t imagine Henry Miller viewing existentialism as passé. No, the man was cut from different cloth, his novels all autobiographical, which he’s not a bit ashamed to admit. In “The Books of My Life,” he claims somewhere that fiction is always closer to reality than fact, which sounds about right to me. Plus it reminds me of something I myself often tell folks who respond to something I’ve written that touches them where they like being touched. I tell them that what they’ve read is only part of the tale, that the best stories can never be told. Well, at least not in the newspaper. Those stories are reserved for “fiction.” Yeah, that kind of fiction. Not Kingsolver’s brand. She makes it all up. Yeah, right!

Which somehow brings me to a dynamic late-night conversation I enjoyed with a European lady a couple of months ago. A German social psychologist teaching at a New York college, she had been through some of my musings in a blog attached to my inn website, recognized me as a political ally, and was anxious to chat, starting with, of all things, my education. She wondered what had soured me so on school. What were my most unpleasant experiences? When I told her I felt confined in the classroom, stifled by rules and regs, suffocated by structure, formula, the beaten path, bored by chalkboard drones who snored at their desks during tests, she totally understood, said the German classroom was much different, that critical thinking was a valued component of her education. In America, she said, standardized testing drives many of the brightest, most dynamic students and critical thinkers to the periphery, where they become intellectual outliers viewed by Boy Scouts and Chamber of Commerce men as eccentric, if not downright weird.

I admitted enrolling in college for the wrong reasons — to play baseball and carouse — went to tell her of flunking out, taking up land-surveying for a year and heading west on a Jack Kerouac journey starting in suburban Chicago and continuing west on a raucous joyride through the Midwest to Wyoming. There we stopped for a memorable weekend before descending to Denver on a Greyhound bus for a six-week Colorado Highway Patrol fundraising gig. Stranded there alone after my friend was fired, I learned more living six weeks in the dregs of Denver’s East Colfax Avenue than I could have learned in any college, I said. Not only that, but I could write a book about the one wild weekend I spent in Rock Springs, Wyo.

Though a card-carrying college professor, she smiled warmly, wasn’t insulted and opined that life is always the best teacher. In fact, she said she’d love to read such a book because, “That’s precisely what I study, you know, social psychology. My brother works on the clinical side. I can’t take it. Too depressing. Some of the best social psychology is found in literature.”

Well, that really sliced open a bulging artery that wanted to squirt blood to the heavens, not by accident, I would surmise. Remember, it’s what she does. So off we raced into dynamic discussion of Hamsun and Kafka and Zola and Nietzsche and Joyce. No, not so much as a mention of Henry Miller, who, though one of them, seems to be always left out. Had I mentioned Miller, though, her likely response would have been a shy, bewildered grin, like, “Who?” But Miller is a master of the psychological literary genre Hamsun is said to have fathered. A New York City man, he has plenty to say, much of it still relevant in bold, black letters, yet his writings were once banned in the English language and remain largely neglected. American students with fancy English and liberal-arts degrees have never read and barely heard of him. I know. I have asked many. The typical response is a blank, sheepish stare, a shrug of the shoulders and something like, “I don’t know why I haven’t read him.” I know why. He was kept from them, just like UMass tried to keep Hamsun from me. I just happened by chance to be lucky enough to have chosen a rebel creative-writing professor who had recently returned from Vietnam with attitude. Angry at what he had seen, transient and defiant, he kept Hamsun’s “Pan,” on our reading list over the objections of the English Department chair, and I have forevermore been the beneficiary.

Take this for what it’s worth, but my advice is to buy yourself a cheap copy of “Black Spring,” which Miller identifies as his best work, and read A Tailor Shop, about the one his father owned in New York City when he was a boy. A microscopic view of New York City society circa 1915, it’s a literary masterpiece, if you can comprehend it. If not, sad indeed, and predictable. Problem is your flock is furtively hidden by its sheep.

Airy Distractions

Whew! What a week, what a day and, finally, here I sit at my favorite perch, one distraction after another keeping me away Monday and Tuesday.

Still, the Spartan walnut chair softened by a thick red cushion is comfy, and life is good. The tall clock just struck noon as I walked from the shower to my raised flagstone terrace outside. There I discretely toweled off and brushed through the tangles in my wet, flowing locks. Truth told, it’s awfully late to start my column, which I prefer to pound out a day or two earlier, leaving time to pick away, tinker, add splashes of color here and there, maybe even occasional daggers for targets I suspect listen. No such luxuries this week. Nope. At this point I gotta just let ’er rip unfiltered and see where it goes. Ah, yes, dangerous indeed with a mischievous mind working. Then again, some with whom I most often correspond suggest I’m at my best when spontaneous, impulsive and raw. Although I can’t say I agree, there’s no choice today. Deadline is approaching like darkness to the  evening deer stand, twilight to the daybreak riffle.

I must say this new sliver of a Sturgeon Moon has brought in the most refreshing, invigorating air, crisp and clear on morning rambles with the dogs, the cool, refreshing summer breeze blowing from the north Monday and Tuesday when — ah! — it seemed life couldn’t be better, yard work notwithstanding. But, hey, even yard work ain’t bad in weather like this. Whether toiling with loppers, clippers or pruning saw to overfill the wheelbarrow or just out running the dogs in green, wild nirvana, I enjoy being alone with my thoughts, many of them, all connected; some appear and pass like a bad odor, others linger, intensify and design an intricate labyrinth to new frontiers; then even brief detours to troubling places, all of the thoughts swirling through your brain and sparking internal conversation during repetitious, mundane chores. Perhaps I shouldn’t admit that these days it seems some of my best conversations are with myself, always trying to complete the big picture, one with hidden chambers contributing to obvious conclusions. I call it processing thoughts, and for me it works best walking alone, even in the rain. What’s disheartening is the realization that just when you get to the point where you’ve figured it out and know you have much to live for, you know your days are numbered. Who knows what’s next? Hopefully we start where we left off.

But enough of that, back to the task at hand, which is shaping up as a ramble fueled by personal observations the past few days, not to mention internal queries, such as this Sturgeon Moon slouching like a vertical hammock in the night sky. The Indians associated this moon with sturgeon, so the month of August must have been significant in their relationship to this a strange, prehistoric-looking fish native to our Connecticut River. My question is why were sturgeon so important to the Indians, and what besides food did they provide? Just curious. Fact is, probably no one knows. Indians left no written history. But I sure would like to know because the unknown fascinates me more than the obvious.

Actually, I tried to get going on this weekly writing chore Tuesday afternoon around 3, two days of trimming hedges and tidying up the yard in the rear view. I sat down, wrote a paragraph I knew I wouldn’t be happy with as a lead, went into the kitchen to pour a fresh cup of coffee, returned to my desk and discovered that my computer had shut down and re-booted. Uh-oh, I thought, and, sure enough, after signing on, I was greeted by a disturbing message from my Norton anti-virus program. After a few unsuccessful tries to remedy the problem with quick-fix links, I knew my day was done and went through the familiar process of cleaning out temporary Internet files, running chkdsk, and performing a time-consuming full-system scan, which takes hours. Hopefully, those drastic measures would solve the problem and allow me to fire-up the machine Wednesday morning without further troubles. No such luck. When I returned home from work Tuesday just before midnight and checked the computer, I knew morning phone work would be necessary. Oh well, I’d get through it, and off to bed I trudged, stopping midway in the dining room to leave my clothes in a pile on the seat of a leather, burgundy wing chair, my Birkenstocks tucked underneath, out of the way.

Oh yeah. I left out the UPS delivery of a book that came to my doorstep Tuesday evening around 6, after I had departed for work. My wife accepted the package and left it out on the counter for me. She didn’t know I was expecting it: “The Books in My Life” by infamous American author Henry Miller, a controversial expatriate and wordsmith extraordinaire whose books were banned here and in England into the early Sixties. Tell me, how can a man wired like me, or any avid reader for that matter, not be attracted to novels the government wants hidden from the eyes of its citizens? In my way of thinking, that’s gotta be some mighty interesting reading. Just me, I guess. Anyway, I had several times in the past thought about buying the book before deciding it was too pricey. Then I finally broke down late last week and bought it online in paperback, which I’ll liberally mark up, unlike my hardcovers. Who knows? I may even wind up buying the hardcover if I decide it’s a must-have for posterity, not to mention future “corruption” of my grandsons.

Eager for a little taste of the book Wednesday morning before running the dogs and embarking on my column, I arose early and started reading out in the green parlor off the midriff inset porch before my wife got up, poured her coffee and started preparing for work in another room, out by the carriage sheds where she gets her morning boob-tube fix, usually the Today Show. She passed through a few times on her normal morning routine before cutting up a delicious cantaloupe and hollering goodbye on her way out the door to work. I heard her car start and saw it heading down the driveway when I caught a vaguely familiar sound I didn’t like. It sounded like a flat tire to me, so I jumped up and dialed her cell phone from the kitchen. She picked up on the third ring, had already figured out her problem and turned around to head home. She parked on flat ground in the driveway, left her car behind and drove my truck to work. So then, column and dogs looming larger by the second, I had an unwelcome project on my hands, one that promised to consume time I didn’t have. Just one of those weeks, I guess. Maybe that new Sturgeon Moon is the culprit.

With no time to waste, I fetched a four-way lug wrench propped against the carriage-shed wall by the red cupboard, laid it by the car and went into the barn — all the doors open to circulate dry, refreshing air throughout — where I retrieved a heavy hydraulic floor jack and one of the four studded snow tires stacked and inflated on rims along a cubby-hole wall. I then returned to the flat and loosened the five lug nuts before jacking the car up and removing the tire, which had picked up a small screw somewhere in my wife’s travels. I threw the flat in the trunk, put the snow tire on and drove up the Brook Road gorge to John Allen’s garage on the ridge above, where I left the tire, briefly exchanged pleasantries and headed back home to walk the dogs, clock ticking valuable minutes into oblivion.

But I still had to deal first with my computer issues. So, upon entering my home, I went inside, called Comcast and a rep gave me the toll-free Norton technical-support number, which I called and got a rep who asked a few questions before remotely commandeering my computer from afar, probably, judging by the name of the woman, in Bangladesh or somewhere not far from there. She assured me she’d have the problem fixed by the time I fed the dogs and returned from a brisk, two-mile romp with them. She didn’t lie. When I got back to my computer, sure enough, my old Norton software had been removed, replaced by a newer version and I was ready to roll once I ate some of that succulent neighborhood melon my wife had cut up, showered and dressed. Then the fun began: crafting a column on the heels of pig-piling distractions.

I had a few ideas: things like turkeys and cougars and the reserved Yankee way I learned from my grandfather and his spinster sister, both of whom I shared a home with as a boy but never really got to know before they were gone. Also — who knew? — maybe I’d even jump off to replay parts of a conversation I had this week with an aged neighborhood Yankee, whose “Patch” with a catchy name easily remembered by a rhyme attracted strawberry pickers. Plus, I was dying to say goodbye to Matt Wolfe, the biomass huckster who’s long gone and hard to find, likely cooking up another scheme for a less sophisticated, less alert community that asks few questions.

I started by writing a new lead segueing into the paragraph I had written the previous day, then was just getting started — into the swing, so to speak — when my phone rang and the Caller ID indicated it was an unfamiliar local number. I took a chance and, lo and behold,  none other than the Wolfe-slayer herself, lovable activist Janet Sinclair, a peach of a lady who spearheaded sharp, organized opposition that sent the wily Wolfe a fleein’, tail tucked nervously between his furry legs. Sinclair was chatty, just wanted to talk and tell me she had hoped to see me at the previous night’s party in Turners Falls that drew a big crowd and lots of high-spirited chatter. She said she was taking the high road, had absolutely no need to dance over the pro-biomass corpses.

“We won,” she said. “I couldn’t be happier. But why be rude and obnoxious?”

Good for her, a class act. History will smile upon her mission.

Well, supper time is near, then work, so I must cut it off here. I hope I haven’t bored you. I must throw something together to eat before my wife returns from work. Maybe I’ll even get a chance to look at the new Rolling Stone magazine that arrived in the mail. Or I suppose I could briefly revisit Henry Miller, the artist America tried and failed to silence. Miller was cut from a different bolt of cloth, one with which I am familiar and fond of. I met the first man to publish Miller in America, a brave activist with a bedrock spine. I didn’t know Miller but can tell from reading him that he never shied away from a friendship out of fear that he’d fall in love, and laughed out loud at the Dead-Bird Society perpetuating the Christian myth that birds mate for life and live out their lives in lonely solitude when a mate dies.

I hope to discover something worth sharing in “The Books in My Life.” We’ll see. I’ve learned to be careful after reading a man like Miller. His defiant style can rub off on a reader of my ilk and spin him off into dangerous rants that irk the Chamber or Commerce and meeting-house flocks. But what the heck. I’ve turned 60 and am way past the point of caring what others think of my more unpopular views — an admission that would likely humor those who know me best.

Yeah, I suppose those folks, my true friends, would just crack a subtle smile and ask with a wry, affectionate chuckle and a glint of sarcasm in their eye, “What else is new?”

Symbolic Sumac

This is not about the moon, though I suppose it could be, because it seems my Cancer existence is always backlit by lunar influence.

That beautiful, amber Full Buck Moon has passed and the clear starlit sky has left my midnight driveway darkened this week, a blackness that is palpable as I walk from the carriage sheds into the house each night after work. Soon the new Full Sturgeon Moon will appear as a faint, slouching sliver, probably casting a reddish summer hue. I can feel it, which is neither here nor there, but yes, the moon is always there for me, even when hidden, and capable of unleashing weirdness.

So who knows? Maybe this omnipresent lunacy is precisely what’s affecting me this week, the impetus for thoughts about symbolic patches of staghorn sumac I pass daily, the fruit ripening in stiff, upright drupes displaying various shades of vibrant red, the same color as the invisible new moon building energy, known also as the Red Moon, which is gaining subconscious momentum under dim, deep skies.

For some reason, I have since a boy been attracted to sumac stands. I might add that my first memories of the wild bushes had nothing to do with the plant or its drupes, but instead with associated wildlife sighting — particularly the startling sensuous stimuli that started with a furious rushing sound, then a flash, then disappearance like a midnight haymow spirit, quickly vanishing when you click on the light, leaving in its wake only haunting stillness. Later I came to recognize the soft harbinger drumming that hints all hell is about to break loose seconds before it does.

Yes, I guess I have always linked sumac to ruffed grouse — or partridge, or grey ghosts, or whatever you want to call them — beginning with those enlightened childhood days of free, unsupervised play and exploration in the mucky swamps, along brooks and ponds, through the pastures, their brushy perimeters and bordering woodlots, and up to secluded highland perches that kneaded it all into a panoramic view of a tiny world known by ancestors and the River Tribes who preceded them. For as long as I can remember I’d see sumacs, their autumn leaves a scarlet red, and immediately suspect partridge were lurking. I’d pause briefly and, sure enough, off they’d explode, one after another, usually bursting down the narrow power line leading north from the end of Graves Street, toward Boro’s and Yazwinski’s pastures, before disappearing with abrupt turns into colorful hardwoods shading dense undergrowth. Back then, we were almost as free as the birds, skipping off in whatever direction we pleased, spontaneously learning the landscape and its many hidden secrets, the route entirely our own. At some point, we always seemed to end up in the shelf-cave facing southwest from the North Sugarloaf point overlooking the notch, that low sunken ridge line attaching the two Sugarloafs, bordered west by Eastern Avenue, Decker Farm and Mountain Road, south of them the sacred little ballpark at the western base of Mt. Sugarloaf. There we honed our baseball skills, again unsupervised and free to learn the game on our own terms. Some boys developed into ballplayers and climbed the ladder quickly, others hit the wall and chased newfound dreams, some of which turned to nightmares. In the end, we all find our places, I guess, even the kids who can’t hit a baseball or prevent others from doing so; though it’s no secret that in this culture you have an unfair advantage when successful in the heroic arena. I’m not saying that’s the way it should be, just the way it is here in this hypnotized land of the free, home of the brave, Big Brother looming to the hardy cheer of frightened masses.

The sporadic sumac growing on that power line along the western base of North Sugarloaf was not the first I encountered. No, the first would have been a small patch in the narrow tree line between Sadoski’s and Dwyer Lot that leads south into the Bloody Brook swamp across the street from my childhood Pleasant Street home. My father always said there had been a barn there when he was a kid, and remnants bore him out. That thin brushy strip, now taller, still stands along the eastern edge of the grammar-school lot, following the third-base line of the youth-baseball diamond. To be honest, I cannot say I recall flushing partridge there when that open grammar-school lot was most often covered with silage corn. We may have flushed a few over the years, but partridge were rare there, where I vividly recall igniting an accidental fall blaze as a kindergartner and hiding under my upstairs bed as sirens and flashing lights approached. Actually, we were much more likely to encounter rabbits at that site, plenty of them, plus seasonal songbirds in the trees and occasional ringnecks feeding on fallen drupes. I had no clue back then that the sumac wildlife was after those long red clusters of berries extending from branches between rich green leaves. I just knew that where there were sumacs there always seemed to be critters. Plus both sites also contained wild grapes and blackberries, additional wildlife magnets.

My, how times have changed. Nowadays it seems I rarely flush partridge from sumacs, never from the neighborhood patches I pass daily. There just aren’t the partridge there used to be, most likely because the young forests of my youth are now much older and less attractive to foragers. Today, myself also 50 years older, the sumacs I pass remind me of something else entirely: the dysfunctional, budget-busting health-care system we’ve created to fatten Big Pharma, insurance companies, investors and their sacred profits, the lifeblood of predatory America. Yes, it’s true that a wild plant utilized by Indians for healthy tea, refreshing soft drinks, jams and jellies, cooking additives and medicine, not to mention dyes and powders and smoking-tobacco spice, is today considered invasive and worthy only of Roundup destruction: oh yes, the Monsanto solution. Think of it. Here we have a wild plant that annually produces antioxidant and antimicrobial berries that could be gathered as a free source of Vitamin C, yet this consumerist culture teaches us that it’s an invasive pest, better off dead, which sounds hauntingly similar to treatment of the indigenous tribes that once valued sumac as a gift from their Earth Mother.

What mainstream TV huckster in his right mind would today advocate gathering sumac or other free medicinal plants — “weeds” in modern pejorative vernacular — from along the roadside or t’other side of high, cheap, ugly wooden fences built around Walmart dumpsters to contain the stench? Only rare doctors would propose such cheap remedies, and those who do are called alternative or wacko or cuckoo or much, much worse by outspoken critics committed to the trusted pill-for-everything solution. I challenge you to find alternative doctors your insurance company will cover. Trust me, it ain’t easy, and the doctors know it. In a nutshell, if Big Pharma ain’t raking in dough, insurance companies don’t want to hear about it. Just the way it is in a land where money is God.

A late doctor friend of mine knew the truth even though he attended the finest colleges and medical schools Big Pharma could buy, and he worked for a mainstream practice. Not only that, I happen to still know such a doctor, a good friend who’s been blackballed and badmouthed by competitors and considered “loony” indeed by the HMO club. He told me long ago to change my diet and shopping routines, get more exercise, eat healthier and stay away from pills, all of which, according to him, have side effects you want no part of. He’s a scientist. Although I always listened to his advice, I never acted upon it until I started to age and felt my physical prowess fading. That’s when I started fine-tuning my listening skills during our discussions, some convivial, and decided to change my stubborn ways. Why didn’t I listen from the beginning? That’s a question I often ponder when I’m passing sumac drupes and rose hips, wild sources of concentrated, organic Vitamin C that’ll keep you healthier than any jug of commercial orange juice, any pill, capsule or serum money can buy. The typical American will laugh at those claims. That’s OK. Those who eat healthy will laugh last.

I listened when my Midwestern doctor friend told me mercury fillings, pesticides, GMOs, and supermarket foods were the cause of various systemic human inflammations, which bring on symptoms like high blood pressure, gout, migraines, depression, you name it. I also tuned in when he warned that sugar’s a killer, more dangerous than fat, and that it’s essential to read labels carefully if you want to avoid invisible sugar intake. I sharpened my listening even finer as I watched his own physical changes after “detoxing” and attending one distant, pricey conference after another to learn about the benefits of organic foods, grass-fed meats, exercise, good-cholesterol intake, and refusal to go the pharmaceutical route your insurance and doctors demand. I paid particular attention to his indictment of fluoride as a dental agent and water treatment, his assertion that it was nothing anyone wanted introduced into their bodies, just a clever way for the aluminum industry to make money off a poisonous by-product and disposal dilemma. So, hey, why not put it in water supplies and toothpaste and mouthwash to maximize profits? Why not push it in pill form through dental practices? Ah, yes, the American way, even if it does make people dumber.

The man who imparts this wisdom is himself a dentist, no less, one who goes the extra yard and can’t for fear of losing his license tell new patients to remove their mercury amalgams, which he claims are toxic and responsible for many health problems, including mental illness. When I mentioned this opinion to a successful Long Island dentist I spent time with on Lake George’s posh south shore a few years back, the man couldn’t contain his fury. “He should lose his license for telling anyone that, and would if the ADA found out,” he exploded in a most unfriendly tone. End of conversation. Why push it? Sorry, I believe my dentist friend, who’s more concerned with patients’ health than the bottom line — a rare breed indeed.

One more thing that’s worth sharing before I go is that the only person I ever met who used rose hips as a medicinal cold remedy was a humble Vermont lady who married a card-carrying socialist and lived briefly in Scott Nearing’s southern Vermont “Good Life” commune. My parents were warned about this unusual family, told to keep their son away from the dangerous, subversive radicals. Today, I still think of those gentle folks who taught me much, my mind often wandering back in time, stirred by the sight of sumac drupes, a sweet whiff of wild roses on my daily Sunken Meadow rambles with the dogs. Those thoughts then flitter to my dentist friend who dares to be different, make enemies, and risk his livelihood for truth-telling that goes against the grain. Then I think of my self-proclaimed activist friend who listened to doctors at first and briefly took the medicines they prescribed for angina. Due to innate curiosity we all should value, this learned man soon began exploring his options and discovered there is another way, one without pills, the chemical solution he abruptly trashed for another way. That man is today 84 and going strong, pill-free for 10 or 12 years, no statins or blood-pressure pills. Then I think of the changes I myself have made over the past couple years, the weight loss, how much better I feel, and it becomes clear who’s worth listening to and who isn’t.

I guess it’s just one more live-and-learn experience, the story of my life, one that has endured many twists and turns but still fuels a strong orange flame standing tall in a soft autumn breezes behind the hurricane.

Cover Commotion

It finally arrived Monday! I was starting to wonder.

Truth be told, I had been eagerly awaiting it since dismissing as inadequate the homogenized news reports I had read, watched and listened to following that sad day in April when two curb-side pressure cookers exploded, killing three and permanently impacting the lives of far too many innocent victims. By Saturday, aware that it had been due on newsstand shelves the previous day, I speculated that perhaps the United States Postal Service had joined the loudmouthed reactionary chorus and decided not to deliver it to subscribers’ homes, including my own, where I quite proudly hold “lifetime” status.

If you haven’t already figured it out, I’m talking about “Rolling Stone” Issue 1188 with presumed Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev (let’s use his Cambridge nickname “Jahar” going forward) on the cover. All I can say is that, as suspected after tuning into uninformed, knee-jerk, shock-jock bores Dennis and Callahan last week, it was big ado over nothing.

Honestly, I often wonder how D&C remains viable in liberal New England airwaves — spewing the daily dose of right-wing crap they deliver, especially Callahan, a poster boy for those who have read little, repeat what they hear, listen to the wrong people, and accept their hateful, racist rants as gospel? A few weeks ago, my father and a local farmer I later heard about were quite entertained by a northern New England caller who phoned D&C to tell Callahan he was a punk, and that he’d like nothing better than to visit his studio and give him a good beating; that, although 65 years old, he was a former Green Beret and could do it. Although my father and the local agronomist probably wear slightly different political stripes, neither of them view Callahan’s storm-trooper, tough-guy act favorably, so they were humored by the threatening call and, I might add, so was I.

The day news of that controversial Rolling Stone cover spread like wildfire in dry, blustery winds, I first heard mention of it at dawn on WHMP and got right out of bed to turn on D&C, who I knew would not disappoint. Indeed they were pontificating vociferously, demanding that merchants refuse to sell a magazine with the audacity to put a flattering, sleepy-eyed photo of Jahar on a cover, especially a liberal pop-culture rag that has transformed many a rock star from bronze to platinum. But let’s be honest. The fact is that the likes of D&C hate RS to begin with, dislike its literary reporting style and progressive slant on social issues like global warming, politics and social issues. You name it, RS is on the other side of D&C on virtually everything, thus the fiery, aneurism-bursting outcry when they get a chance to whip up chauvinistic clamor reminiscent of European fascist chants. Which is not to say that RS reporter Janet Reitman in any way defends Jahar or justifies radical Islam in her piece, or for that matter criticizes America. She doesn’t. Perhaps D&C and all the other pre-release hysterical indicters — followed by a lock-step flock of timid sheeple vowing to keep the magazine off their shelves — should have read the article before harpooning it as un-American, always a curious accusation in a nation extolled as the land of liberty and justice, where freedom of the press is sacred doctrine. Well, that is, unless the publication differs in opinion from the rabid, law-and-order right, I guess. Yeah, that’s entirely different; just like it was in Germany and Italy and Spain, also Stalin’s stifling Soviet Union; not unlike the way it is in vicious U.S.-supported banana-republic dictatorships around the globe, anywhere rich in exploitable natural resources, especially oil. But that foreign domination and political intrigue is quite all right, thank you, in the world of right-wing demagoguery, where capitalism and profit is god, ecosystem be damned. And don’t even think of putting the picture of a terrorist on the cover of Rolling Stone and writing an informative piece explaining how such a monster can hatch in Athens on the Charles, the city of Cambridge, home of Harvard and MIT, Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky. No sir, that’s treason. I suppose in right-wing ideology, only the FBI and state police should write crime stories for readers in this cradle of democracy, land of liberty and justice. How does that work, anyway? Is everyone OK with that bitter freedom-of-the-press flavor?

All I can say is praise Jesus for the likes of Rolling Stone, a truth-telling magazine similar to “Ramparts” of the Sixties; both dared to dig for the real story, maybe even the squirmy truth that mainstream media refuse to report. The Jahar profile isn’t even the best piece in RS 1188; the story about Arctic ice melt is much better. And I must say I’m disappointed how quickly RS rolled into submission on the Michael Hastings conspiracy theories. Personally, I want more than his military brother’s weak dismissal of any possibility that the car crash killing his investigative-journalist sibling wasn’t an accident. The press and Hastings’ friends are terrified of the story — way too hot, maybe even perilous — and apparently so are the editors of the magazine where Hastings made his hard-hitting reputation. Go ahead, Google “Hastings crash” if you doubt me, and dig in with an open mind. If you come away without suspicions, your salt is diluted and quite irrelevant.

I must admit I usually hesitate to publish my views on this kind of stuff. Times have changed. The press I as a boy watched take down Johnson, Nixon and the KKK has now been neutered. Some news organizations even strike terror into counter-culture, anti-establishment professors, who, for expressing opinions Fox-News’ legion of lemmings find “dangerous” and un-American (whatever that means), face the threat of visits from Bill O’Reilly lackeys calling for their dismissal and haranguing them on campus with camera crews, bright lights and microphones. Thus it seems my most revered, profound and enlightening political/philosophical conversations nowadays are with European travelers who pass through my old-tavern doors. They understand right-wing law-and-order regimes that lean heavily on frothy, easily-incited rabbles. Just this summer a young pregnant German woman, a social-psychologist from a New York college, stayed overnight with her husband on their way to a Maine vacation. She had been through my blog linked to the tavern website and wanted to chat.  And talk we did, far into the night, then again in the morning, both fascinating discussions about government, corporatocracy, media and post-9/11 international travel difficulties. This brilliant young woman said she loved America for its wild, open country and forests, but was troubled by its arrogant claims of “exceptionalism” and being the best, and by corporate control of government and the press.

“You must remember,” she warned, “I am German, and I know what can happen because it did happen to my country. We were taught what to look for and I see it here.”

That was an eerie comment coming on the heels of a similar assertion made last fall during casual conversation with a Welsh couple accompanied by two lovely young daughters. In a lively, rambling conversation bouncing from subject to subject, we got into a discussion about propaganda and the role of “spinmeisters” shaping public opinion by disseminating their message through the “news.” I told the wife that I believed elements of fascism have existed in this country for decades, basing my opinion on reading of Orwell and much European literature written between 1900 and 1940, plus lots of material about the rise of reactionary McCarthyism in response to four terms of FDR’s New Deal, also much about strong-arm CIA and U.S. military support for U.S. corporations exploiting the globe since WWII. I told her I feared that the rabble screaming loudest at Tea Party and anti-immigration rallies (now supporting Zimmerman with red-faced zeal) could be easily drawn into a nationalistic movement fueled by hatred of carefully constructed demons sketched by professional manipulators and inspirational orators.

“Oh my God,” gasped the woman, a reserved, erudite librarian, sitting comfortably on a rose-colored dining-room settee. “We talk about this all the time at home. We think Americans don’t know it’s happening.”

Some do, I told her, but not nearly enough; and those who do and are worth listening to are being shouted off the stage.

This weekend, I’m expecting an extended visit from the Windy City, home of the Haymaket and that 1968 Democratic Convention that will live in infamy. Though not expecting political conversations, you never know. I do know I won’t initiate such a conversation. Instead, I’ll probably keep my thoughts to myself and at some point go outside to sit at a metal table on the stone terrace. There I’ll stare up at that powerful, waning Full Buck Moon and let my playful mind wander off into the midnight sky. I’ll see that film of Mitt Romney’s Florida  fundraiser, where he got caught on camera preaching to the choir about the young Chinese girls enjoying a life of servitude, sleeping in barracks and toiling as slave laborers for Walmart goods; then I’ll likely wander to the great philanthropic Koch brothers, banks that are too big to fail, Big Pharma, Big Oil, nuclear disaster, oil-spill apologists, global-warming deniers, and Big Brother surveillance cameras, drones, satellites and email snoops. Then I may just spin back to our brave Founding Fathers, revolutionaries who put their lives and necks on the line to shed the yoke of oppression, and I’ll try to imagine what they’d think of the mess we’ve been sucked into, what they’d think of Bradley Manning, Edward Snowden and Julian Assange.

Those patriots are probably thrashing around in their humble graves, struggling to escape for a furious rematch with Federalists, Franco-phobes and their ruthless right-wing descendants destroying the world.

As for Orwell, well, he’d just say he saw it coming.

River Reflections

That light orange sliver of a hot new crescent moon had long ago set in the dawning horizon and it was  boys’ day out on the Green River, three of us, grandfather and grandsons. You know what they say about the apple falling not far from the tree? It was palpable.

Questions, questions and more questions, some traipsing toward perilous waters, the current heading for tangled roots overhanging a deep corner pool where big trout lurk and kids drown, others quite harmless, drifting off on placid water where we swam under bright, scorching late-morning sun, frisky dogs splashing, eating it up, Jordi, 7, joining the water-borne ecstasy.

Ah, to be young again. You can’t go back, but I am thankful on this, the day after my mother’s 84th birthday, to have been afforded the foot-free childhood freedom I enjoyed exploring woods, fields, swamps and mountains of the small, cozy town that sure ain’t what it used to be. What small town is nowadays, with that ubiquitous shadow of authority always snarling?

Arie, soon to be 4, was in a different psychological place, worried about “pinchers” he spotted fleeing along the sandy riverbed, the water clear and flowing stronger than normal for mid-July. “Don’t be afraid of those little crayfish,” I pleaded. “Can’t you see they’re afraid of you? That’s why they scoot away. Plus, you’re wearing your water shoes. Even a big pincher couldn’t hurt you through them.”

Seems I’m too often assuaging the boys’ fears, such a horrible emotion to be dominated and controlled by, a hideous plague for those who pathetically succumb to it. But who could blame these young boys for harboring fear and uncertainty after losing their father so young? My job as a surrogate is to help make them brave, adventurous and independent, plus confident in their ability to solve daily problems. I try to instill self-confidence and high self-esteem in my own homespun way. It isn’t always easy, given what they’ve been through, the devastating loss endured when the boulder to which they were moored was ripped from their tranquil bay.

As I extended my hand to encourage Arie across the river with Jordi and the dogs — Lily creating quite a commotion chasing scent through tall, dense riverside bamboo; Chubby just chilling, slurping cool belly-deep water, watching, listening to his mother’s antics — I caught a passing overhead shadow, looked up and spotted this dark, sinister, odd, lizard-like creature with long legs, neck and beak flying awkwardly upstream.

“Hey, boys, look at the Great Blue Heron,” I said, pointing upward, unaware that both had already spotted it, landing gear dangling, gliding to a west-bank touch-down at a river bend. The big, leggy bird hit the shore in front of a prostrate tree trunk, it extending slightly over the river, before walking into flat shallows to hunt small dace with its spear-like beak, the bane of hatchery managers. But not so fast! We weren’t the only ones watching the bizarre bird. Chubby, in statuesque focus, was onto it in a big way and soon splashed off in pursuit, quickly flushing and chasing it farther upstream before I called him back with the worn, black, deep-tooth-dented stag-horn whistle on my lanyard. Seconds later, sure enough, here comes that gangly heron right back at us in boomerang flight. It passed low, right over our heads, across the Christmas-tree fields and toward an invisible beaver marsh some 200 yards south. Its U-turn hadn’t eluded Chubby. No sir. He froze until the bird passed and then pinned back his brown floppy ears, sprinting world-class after it. Despite knowing he had no chance of success, instinct had consumed the young fella and off he raced, busting through the brushy riverbank border and disappearing partway across the field before returning on his own, smiling broadly and panting for a drink. No problem. He wallowed through shallow backwater, lay down and refreshed himself with loud slobbering slurps generally associated with a pigsty … or worse.

“Well, boys, what’dya think of that?” I asked. “Ever seen one of those weird birds?”

“No,” replied Jordi. “Cool.”

“Yeah, that was cool,” echoed Arie, enthralled in big-brother worship.

“But, Grampy, why was it alone?” Jordi chirped.

“Good question, Jord, one I cannot answer. Seems I seldom see two. In fact, I don’t remember the last time. No matter where I am, seems there’s just one. Haven’t given much thought to why, though. If I really wanted to know, I could look it up on the Internet or in a book. That’s research, Jord, finding answers. It’s fun. Easy, too, with computers.”

I can recall nothing else extraordinary occurring over the remainder of our two-hour river romp, which took us maybe 500 feet, crossing two rattling riffles at a sweeping S-turn in the river. There young, timid Arie rode me piggyback as the dogs rollicked and Jordi ran ahead to impress us with his riverside courage, not to mention be the first to discover what greeted us around each corner. In a set of knee-deep downstream rapids exiting flat deep water where we stopped briefly to swim, Jordi found submerged what he called a “super-soaker” plastic squirt gun. I fiddled with his prize long enough to empty the gravel and get it squirting before heading back to the truck for our return trip home a short distance away. There Joey, the boys’ “Nanny,” would undoubtedly have lunch under way.

I fired up the truck and drove down the double-rutted path between freshly cut hayfields, where a young sun-drenched farmer on a tractor was teddering — field swallows swooping and swirling, darting and diving, Mississippi John Hurt finger-picking, singing his baritone blues on my CD player, cranked up loud, of course, just how I like it. The artist and genre were new to Jordi, who was curious, a desirable state in my world.

“Do you like this music, Grampy?” he queried.

“Yup, Jord, love it, That’s Delta blues sung by an American original named Mississippi John Hurt.”

“Who?”

Nice! A teaching moment.

I told him Hurt has been dead nearly 50 years but remains popular in some circles. What I respect most about old Mississippi John, a poor black man, likely the son of slaves, is that he as a boy taught himself to play a cheap guitar, then as a man learned to write songs with message and soul. Later in life, famous musicians taught by the best teachers at elite schools, many of them virtuoso pickers playing vintage Martin guitars in the land’s finest music halls and biggest ballparks, begged him to teach them his unique finger-picking style, a curious three-finger method no one had ever seen. Yes, that’s my kinda man, I told Jordi: self-taught and original. Today, people know his songs but have no clue who wrote them. Of course I was tempted to introduce the word autodidactic right then and there but decided against it. The kid’s too young to use such a word, would likely be deemed an egghead.

It’s funny. I’ve owned that “Best of Mississippi John Hurt” CD by Vanguard for at least 20 years and just happened to dig it out on a wayward whim a month or so back, ending long exile on a lower shelf of the built-in Taproom bookcase I store my music in. It’s a live album recorded during the Sixties folk revival at Oberlin College, which gave me a great opportunity to address education. I told Jordi Oberlin was a good “alternative” college a friend of mine graduated from, and that I’d be proud to send him there if I could find a way. He just flashed a warm, inquisitive smile and asked what I meant by alternative. Different, I answered, a school that encourages thinkers to figure things out for themselves, like young Mississippi John figured out how to play that cheap guitar. It’s not the type of college people who want to be cops or soldiers or bankers typically attend. Jordi’s too young to grasp that concept. He’s still learning to read and speak. I didn’t expect he’d understand, just figured I’d plant another random seed, one of many I’ve sown into his fertile gray matter during seven short years, will continue planting as long as I live — about as close to a farmer as I’ll ever get.

Confused by the new ideas bombarding his intellectual sphere like swarming white-faced hornets, the boy reached deep into his bag of tricks for a clever escape and, with an abrupt, adroit interjection, changed the subject as we hit the pavement leading home. All the while, Arie sitting silently in the back, soaking it all in, hopefully gaining priceless perspective, little gems from mysterious origins buried deep in subconsciousness for future release into introspective freshets.

“What’s FM 2?” Jordi asked, pointing at the dashboard sound system. “I like country, country and rap. Can we listen to the radio?” And off on a radio adventure we wandered, one short in duration, him pushing one button after another before we turned into my driveway and a new realm. Our impromptu conversation about music and alternative colleges had somehow brought me back to a ride I once took with the boys’ dad. Jordi may or may not have been alive at the time. Not important. Gary was in town for the weekend and we were taking a country drive up the Green River that dirt road to 10-Mile Bridge, listening to bluegrass in my white Toyota pickup. I don’t remember what CD we were listening to, maybe Tim O’Brien, Steve Earle or Garcia & Grisman, possibly Doc Watson or a good many others. Definitely bluegrass, though. That I vividly recall. We were listening to one of many ballads about euphoric love gone terribly bad and bitter, when doleful lyrics were abruptly broken by an uplifting mandolin riff that caught my attention.

“Listen, Gary, do you hear that mandolin giggling?” I asked. “It’s vindictive laughter at a woman who left and lost, her misfortune his delight.”

What sparked that spontaneous comment I can’t say, but I’ll never forget his reaction. Our eyes met and Gary’s were blurred in bewilderment. Then, just like that, they became crisp, clear and focused. He smiled, nodded and I knew he “got it” as I looked into those soft, blue, intelligent eyes. A new concept, he understood the role of mood-driven instrumental riffs. He had by then played the guitar for many years and was venturing into songwriting, probing personal fears and anxieties, his distrust of authority figures who’d assaulted him, and was finally writing about it, just getting started, putting things together. He continued writing and singing right up to his untimely death, gaining confidence by performing for the kids, who sang and danced at home, accompanied him to open-mic coffeehouse gigs. He knew he could die young but hid his anxieties well. His music tells me he was haunted by his own mortality, especially after he became a registered nurse. Then, lo, he did die young, leaving a widow, two young boys and a beautiful home in an upscale Montpelier, Vt., neighborhood; to Jordi now only a distant memory in dense fog. Sadly, I doubt Arie has any conscious memories.

It’s no wonder Jordi has a few times asked, quite out of the blue, “Why did Daddy die?” It’s a question I have not answered. How can anyone try to justify such a devastating loss to a young boy? I just look him in the eye — eye-contact crucial — and tell him he’s not alone, that other boys lose fathers and succeed.

That response may sound cruel, but it’s all I’ve got for this bright-eyed grandson carrying his father’s legacy, and mine, yoked with a heavy burden that disrupted a good life he knew and loved.

I suppose the French would just shrug and say, “C’est la vie,” which totally ignores the question of fairness.

Razin’ Cane

It’s weird how wandering thoughts are triggered.

With me, often they’re launched by the senses, this time scent, a soft, alluring sea-borne aroma, fishy and salty, that we all know. Some would wrinkle the bridge of their nose, say “eeeyuew” and run like frightened hare. Not me. It’s just harmless body odor, have smelt much worse, especially in preseason, double-session football lockers, a stench only the battered and broken could cuddle.

This rambling, risqué train of thought got freewheeling one morning over the long holiday weekend — hot and sticky by 9, flapping front-yard flag pointing east — and has lingered ever since. It seems to waft in and out of my consciousness like wispy patches of daybreak fog roaming through a ridgetop nut grove; floating through places malignant and benign, some appropriate for a family paper, some not. We’ll focus on the latter, hopefully. Then again, who knows where the devilish dare to delve. So fasten your seatbelt and buckle your chinstrap, Martha, because you’re riding with a bad boy; where he’s headed always difficult to predict with certainty. One place we’ll definitely visit, passing straight through the heart of the densest marsh, is the so-called Mackin site, where the powers that be are determined to build a Walmart and dismiss all foes as wingnuts and phonies.

Anyway, last Friday, getting itchy to take my daily romp with the dogs after two peaceful hours of early-morning reading, I sprang from my La-Z-Boy and walked out to the inset porch to retrieve my olive swim trunks, a white Hawley Common T-shirt with red lettering, and a black, feather-light, space-age aluminum knee brace, all dangling either off the open bulkhead door or an adjacent mock-orange bush, sprouts racing away in the tropical heat. Items collected, I returned inside, temporarily hung the brace over a birdcage-Windsor’s riser, slipped on the shorts and shirt, sat in a burgundy leather wing chair, put on my black peds and reached for the brace, which with one quick whiff in moist air reminded me of why I seldom hunt deer anymore. The problem is that strenuous activity like hunting necessitates wearing that brace, which realigns my deformed, displaced, arthritic joint and helps limit pain and inflammation caused by exercise; and the effective contraption carries way too much odor to justify wearing it when trying to outfox a wary animal with a superior sense of scent. Like I said, I don’t run from that scent. Deer do. Thus my reluctance to hunt wearing that brace, which presents two undesirable options: 1.) announcing my presence by strapping it on or, 2.) irritating my battered left knee to a stiff, swollen, inflamed mess by leaving it home.

Of course, I would be remiss not to admit what unfolded one of the last times I ventured up to my favorite stand near home wearing one of many ripe braces I’ve owned. How could I forget? It occurred two days before my 28-year-old namesake son’s death in a Burlington, Vt., hospital. Yes, slightly after 4 p.m. I was sitting against a large red pine when young twin bucks sporting small antlers trotted right at me from the downwind side and got to within 10 and 15 before deciphering something wasn’t right. They proceeded to stand motionless for what seemed like an eternity before spinning 180 degrees and bounding off, one after the other.

Wow! One more classic case of deafening woodland silence abruptly shattered by the sound of rustling leaves and the stunning discovery that deer are approaching quickly from the direction you hoped they wouldn’t come. Pinned down and unable to move, you can’t breathe, blink or budge without being detected, forget shouldering your gun. It gets better. I had ventured into that stand on a mid-afternoon whim, unplanned and totally unprepared. In fact, just that morning, opening day, me on vacation but preoccupied with thoughts of my son’s dreadful ordeal in a gloomy intensive-care unit three hours north, I had showered with Dial soap of all things, another absolute no-no for serious deer hunters. But I decided to go up there anyway, if for no other reason than to shake my melancholy spell, inhale some cool, refreshing air, and watch darkness blanket the hilltop behind the house. As so often seems to occur following impulsive decisions like that, not long after kicking out my spot and settling into that strategically placed, proven stand, here they come, not yet in sight, sounding at first like squirrels scampering through brittle russet leaves on the forest floor. I slowly pivoted my head left a bit and, yes indeed, shockingly, two bucks, 3- and 5-point brothers in the 125-pound class, trotting straight at me, soon standing right in my lap. Check that. Actually, my shotgun was there, pointing away from the deer. So there I sat, deer in my kitchen, cooked. Still, though, not what I’d call a bad trip. And, no, wiseguy, not that kind of trip, either.

Wanting to share my tale once returned to the comforts of home, I called a brother-in-law who takes deer hunting more seriously than I do. His flippant remark was that maybe he ought to trash his scentless soap and start washing with Dial during deer season. But, truth be told, it had nothing to do with soap. We’ve all heard that worn, right-place, right-time mantra all hunters have used in discussion. Well, I lived it that day, literally everything working against me, and there they were: twin bucks, the 3-pointer nearly within spitting distance, his 5-point brother not far behind. I suppose the moral of the story is that you’ll never put venison in your freezer sitting home. In the woods, there’s always a chance, even when you throw caution, not to mention Dial and a smelly knee brace, to the wind.

But this adventure doesn’t stop here. In fact, that’s only the prelude, the brace a pungent symbol of defiance I have wrapped around my chronic knee for nearly 40 years now. Yeah, I’m broken but not beaten, limping yet limber, rough and ready. So let me limp down another lane, one that’s sure to unleash  a mix of ire and praise. No problem. My kind of tale.

For some reason, that subtle, forbidden, salty-sweet scent rising in the dining room from brace to nostrils liberated an intoxicating stimulant that stirred my imaginative juices and ricocheted me off in many directions, the common thread a sad, worn realization that conventional wisdom is seldom worth the salt it piddles; that some fruit even in a commercial orchard rots on the vine, falls to the ground and is devoured before it can leave so much as a seed to sprout. Liberals try to prevent such “waste,” conservatives say the victim deserved its fate, and me, well, I say neither, just admit that there can be different outcomes from the same origin. That’s life. Deal with it and move forward, glancing only briefly in a rearview, which, yes,  can be depressing indeed. Fruit even from the finest trees can rot, while the worst trees can produce a most perfect solitary specimen among a crop of ugly, mangled rejects. I don’t try to salvage the decaying drops from the orchard floor or destroy the rare mutant prodigy borne to a ship of fools. I take the good with the bad and keep moving, hoping to pick up nuggets of wisdom in my waffle treads as I put one foot in front of the other. To me most precious is the plum that by miraculous cross-pollination or some other weird, unexplainable phenomenon appears on a dying tree of pitifully poor apples and shines brightly in the first ray of morning sun. It’s that rare fruit I savor, hoping a turkey will devour it and by chance drop its seed in a fertile spot. The problem is that trees like that are often toppled and burned by law-and-order societies.

Huh? How did we get there? What do those random, fleeting thoughts have to do with smelly knee braces and the Mackin site of Walmart fame? Just you wait and see.

That stalled, controversial commercial development may yet get waylaid by strong, eternal spirits that reside there in Greenfield’s northeast corner, ghosts that established their foothold long before such a town existed or Europeans laid eyes on the site. A case has been made, not convincingly I might add, by the “pro-growth” crowd that so-called local sprawlbuster Al Norman maliciously liberated that determined Native spirit, not to mention planted bones on-site to reject big-box greed. But it isn’t true, despite the fact that Indian activists fighting to preserve ancient burial grounds overlooking a sacred waterfall on New England’s greatest river have indeed become coincidental Norman allies. Norman and the Indians are fighting on different fronts: Norman’s philosophical and economic, the Indians’ spiritual and cultural. I have spoken to many of the Indian representatives in recent months and not a one has ever mentioned a word about Norman or Walmart. That’s right: zero. And when I have mentioned either, they stop me and say they’re not interested, it’s an entirely different issue. I believe them after extensive research and investigation.

What’s interesting from a personal perspective is that I myself sat within arm’s length of the reporter who covered the Walmart story during the most contentious, vicious years of dispute and never paid any attention to the sacred-burial-site distraction despite being for many years sympathetic to Indian causes. Perhaps there is a spiritual impetus for my pro-Indian predisposition, considering that I as a teen awoke each morning peering down the foot of my rock-maple bed at the tip of the Bloody Brook Monument marking the site of rare Indian victory over foreign invaders. The reason I initially ignored the Indian dynamic in the Walmart dispute was that by the time those activists entered the fray, I was already firmly opposed to development there on economic and environmental terms. First, I viewed as ridiculous the notion that Walmart was a cure-all to Greenfield’s economic woes. I thought the politicians supporting the development as a solution were short-sighted and unimaginative, and felt that the rabble-rousing blogger bellowing the pro-Walmart flames was toxic, intentionally igniting a culture war between haves and have-nots. The chump rhetoric oozing from that online inferno was nothing new, had been in ubiquitous use for decades by professional Walmart spinmeisters employed to defeat opposition and siphon billions from all points of the compass to the Walton empire in the sunny South. But that’s only half of the story. My first source of opposition to the proposed site sat firmly on environmental concerns — the fact that it sat atop a major aquifer which probably should have been deemed off-limits during the 1960s Route 2 bypass survey. Someday when drinking water is scarce, hindsight probes will likely question the wisdom of ever compromising that White Ash Swamp resource field. And if anyone digs deep, rarer and rarer in these days of texts, Tweets and twerps, then they’ll likely discover that the decision-makers way back when ignored key facts and demonized foes as loons, goons and deceitful obstructors.

As for the prehistoric indigenous burial ground bordering the site known as Wissatinnewag, overlooking the ruined sacred Connecticut River waterfall known as Peskeomskut, well, let’s put on our thinking cap — you know, the pointed one with a small, yellow crescent moon painted on the front that’s standing on the seat of that tall, three-legged stool in a classroom’s back corner.

Let’s suppose folks in faraway Athens were clamoring for a Super-Walmart shopping plaza to provide cheap merchandise for the huddled Greek masses. Would developers propose leveling the Acropolis or Parthenon ruins or Socrates’ graveyard to build it? Would they obliterate ancient history for a gourmet cheese-dawg eatery? Not likely, because Greeks can follow roots straight back to those ancient, pre-Christ ruins, which cannot be said here. No, here the government and its archaeological lapdogs prefer to start North American history with the arrival of European sailing fleets beginning in 1492. In the name of progress, these folks would rather forget the Paleo and Archaic civilizations and disconnect them from the Woodland tribes present to greet those ships, in many cases ensuring the survival of the disembarked, disoriented settlers. And now, when the descendants of our historic River Tribes return home to protect important ancient burial grounds on sacred sites their people were ruthlessly driven from, they are ridiculed and rhetorically dismissed as phonies and frauds.

Perhaps Greenfield does need a Walmart. If so, maybe it ought to be incorporated into a creative downtown urban-renewal project that razes or renovates existing properties with little or no historic value in long-range plans. They did it for elderly housing at the old Millers Falls Tool site, then again at GTD. Why not a similar type of initiative at a downtown site in need of rehabilitation? Maybe they could even squeeze it into that thriving commercial zone in the southwest corner of town? But no, not Greenfield, the so-called conservative rebel, Deerfield’s little sister that grew up with a serious identity crisis, a wart on her cheek and chip on her shoulder; and now the town’s faced with a challenging new demographic that’s turned the place upside down since I was a boy skating Bloody Brook and sitting in King Philip’s Seat fantasizing I was an Indian standing watch. It seems Greenfield would rather bulldoze a spot saturated with Indian history, not to mention destroy a once-viable and potentially salvageable wetland and aquifer. I think even late Deerfield historian George Sheldon, no friend of Indians, would be on the side of preservation in this tiresome debate. But that we’ll never know. Sheldon’s dead, just like the loudest voices in this Walmart fiasco will be when the ugly outcome can be analyzed by historians 50 years from now. Of course, I guess it all depends on who records the history, right? It’s nothing new.

If you need a reminder of what can happen to discount department stores, take a look at the old Rockdale building in Turners Falls. If I was working for the stop-Walmart campaign, I’d propose taking vibrant photos of that morose eyesore and ride it like a chestnut steed as a threatening harbinger. I vaguely recall Rockdale but remember well when Railroad Salvage took over and ran those tacky TV ads with hucksters Ruby Vine and Choo-Choo barking folks into their booth for cheap junk salvaged from railroad wrecks. Now they’re gone with their money bags, and their building’s caving in. Go figure. Oh my! Take a ride to the Powertown and take a look at that pathetic blight if you doubt me. It’s right out of post-WWII Germany, minus the craters. Is that what we want sitting vacant on the once-proud White Ash Swamp in 2050? Is that what we’ll get when the slave-labor merchandise and cheesiest of all tube steaks fade into the western horizon? You have to wonder. Either that or dig your head deep into the Barton Cove sand full of Indian artifacts and chirp in on the radioactive community chat boards and social media.

Which brings me back to that troublesome left knee of mine, another joint in need of reconstruction or replacement, not to mention the place where I strap that smelly brace which ignited this wayward ramble. Last year I scheduled an appointment with a Springfield orthopedic surgeon who ordered routine X-rays before I entered his office. It had been 10 years since my last appointment at another practice, which had informed me that I was a shoo-in for knee-replacement surgery, not the “50,000-mile flush-out” I was requesting. So let’s just say I was surprised and relieved by a new more hopeful diagnosis. The young doctor with a great reputation entered the room, X-rays resting on his wall viewing window, and immediately flipped the light switch to illuminate the film. He studied one shot after another, made a few soft moans, turned to me with a wry grin and said, “Yup, we don’t see many like this. On a scale of one to 10, that’s a 10 all right. Congratulations! How are you getting around?”

When I told him my anterior-cruciate ligament has been severed and floating freely since June 1976, and that since then I had played dozens of hardball and hundreds of softball games, thrown in seven cords of wood annually, taken care of a large yard, and hunted aggressively behind two athletic bird dogs daily during the six-week season, he grinned again, shook his head a little and said, “Well, I’m not going to recommend a knee-replacement at this time because you’re too active. In my opinion, you’d burn out an artificial knee in five years or less, not the desired outcome.”

Instead he scribbled out a script for my new, improved brace that now smells like a dear old flame on a good day, a filthy men’s locker room on a bad one, and encouraged me to keep doing exactly what I’ve been doing until I can no longer continue. Then it would be time for re-evaluation. So, regardless of what other doctors have told me, I don’t see a knee-replacement in the near future, hopefully ever. Depends how long I live. I’ll just cross my fingers, keep plugging until I can’t take it any longer and make adjustments from there … which brings to memory a trip last summer to Fort Ticonderoga. Accompanied by my wife and grandson Jordi, we were there for a history lesson and what turned out to be a long, meandering and entertaining Revolutionary War re-enactment. The fool I am, I decided not to bring along my brace but did have my chestnut crook cane in tow, just in case, and, oh, did that cane come in handy.

My salient memory from that long, rambunctious day was this woman — older then me and standing along a rope barrier with her husband on the way up a steep hill — who addressed me by saying with a little grunt-chuckle, “Excuse me, Sir, it may be none of my business but why do you carry that cane? We’ve been watching you for the past hour and, from what we’ve seen, there’s no one in the field who can keep up to you.”

Sweating and a bit out of breath, I made eye contact with a devilish twinkle, cracked a wry grin and said, “Can you not detect my limp?”

“Yes, of course, but my husband remarked that it doesn’t seem to slow you down any.”

“Well, Ma-am,” I responded. “It comes down to mind over matter. Then again, my good friends would probably roll their eyes, laugh and tell you, ‘No brain, no pain.’ But I’ll admit I probably should have worn my brace.”

She flashed me a warm smile, her husband, too. I guess they believed me, sort of got the flavor, if you know what I mean.

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