Sunday morning. Gray, soggy and still. A bit foggy. Somber daybreak ramble in the rearview.
I’m seated in the everyday parlor. Reclining. Feet up. Laptop on my thighs. Autumnal thoughts spinning, swirling, gusting – drifting off to my old pheasant-, grouse- and woodcock-hunting coverts.
What unleashed this train of thought? Probably the damp, raw, overcast weather. None better for following eager, agile, tail-wagging flush-and-retrieve gundogs through thick, mucky coverts – an impenetrable alder row here, a swampside poplar grove there, windborne cattail fuzz, ragweed and goldenrod dust tickling your nostrils through bloodletting, briar-laced tangles.
We’re now more than halfway through the six-week upland bird-hunting season and I haven’t dug out my tattered Filson oilcloth bibs, laced up my 16-inch Bean Hunting Shoes, shouldered my side-by-side – or even bought a license. At this point, it’s looking like it’s not gonna happen, for the second straight year. Old friends would find that shocking. But here I sit, halfway into my eighth year of retirement, with no regrets or laments.
I had my day.
For many decades I hunted hard, wearing myself ragged before arriving at work to battle deadline. I savored the exercise and challenges in brisk fresh air, always fine-tuning my wing-shooting and dog-handling skills.
Now battered and bruised from years of punishment, my eyesight not what it used to be, and many of my best hunting buddies dead, I just don’t need it and have nothing to prove.
My transition out of a valued physical activity reminds me of my last years on the softball diamond. At 41, I was losing my edge. My legs were shot, my speed gone, my arm and desire to continue weakening. I abruptly called it quits, and never looked back. Haven’t swung a bat since, or even entertained the thought of doing so. Not once.
I probably should have walked away after blowing out my knee on the baseball diamond in May of 1976. But I discovered softball and had to swallow my pride, robbed of my speed and agility. Fifteen years later, I learned that life could be enjoyable without the Grande Ole Game and its dugout camaraderie.
I now realize the same thing about upland bird hunting and owning gundog companions. I don’t need it, thank you.
That’s not to say I’ve lost my hunting instinct. Quite the contrary, the pull is strong when digging for information about various topics related to nature and place. Seems there’s always something new on the agenda to satisfy my hunting needs.
Toward the end of this past summer, a dear workaholic friend expressed to a mutual friend his concern about my decision to stop hunting. He didn’t understand how a man who enjoyed wing-shooting like I did could just walk away, cold turkey. Had something gone awry? The torn Achilles tendon five or more years back? Something else he was unaware of?
“No,” our mutual friend responded. “I think he just moved on to other interests.”
The questioner wasn’t convinced. He was about to have a litter of fine, top-pedigree English Springer Spaniel puppies on the ground, and wanted to give me one of my choosing. A generous offer, indeed, but one I politely declined. I didn’t need new dog responsibilities. Problem was that, after losing my last gundog to a dreadful poisoning, I had discovered the freedom of not having to care for a dog year-round for the pleasures of a six-week hunting season.
Meanwhile, the man the breeder had conferred with, and with whom I have hunted many miles of dense cover over the past three and a half decades, has reached out a few times about teaming up for a hunt. “Get your license,” he implored on the first attempt. “They’re stocking out in back of Bob Thayer’s again. You’d love it.”
It’s true. I did love hunting that Hopewell Swamp covert on the Hatfield-Whately line, not to mention chatting with Thayer and enjoying his Yankee twang. He had attended many a square dance with my grandfather, Waldo Willis Sanderson, and his girlfriend Isabelle, and thus took a shine to me.
Thayer was the gamekeeper and one of the stockers of pheasants raised in the Hatfield Fish and Game Club pen near his home. He used to call me on the phone with tips about his stocking routine. So, I knew every inch of his property and that of the abutters, and shot many a cackling cock pheasant, whistling woodcock, and startling partridge there before he died and his farm was sold.
But why return to this challenging covert physically compromised by slower reflexes, unsteady knees and, most importantly, diminished eyesight? The eye doctor tells me my eyesight isn’t that bad, but I know it ain’t what it used to be.
To describe my eyesight woes to doctors and their nurses, I like to explain to them that, “I used to be able to sit at the base of a tree and count the ants walking along a branch 10 feet overhead. Now, without my glasses on, I squeeze toothpaste on the wrong side of the brush.”
Such realizations negatively impact a shooter’s confidence, and regardless of the game, confidence is the key to success. The confident competitor tackles difficult challenges with aplomb, consistently outperforming timid companions.
How can I win? Whether looking through newfangled progressive lenses or my trusty old non-prescription shooting glasses purchased when my eyesight was superior, my vision isn’t sharp and true. So how can I possibly shoulder a shotgun with my same old confidence? And without it, how can I possibly maintain a tolerable success rate?
That said, who knows? Maybe one of my buddies will catch me in the right mood and succeed in coaxing me back into the field before the season ends in a couple weeks. It’s not out of the realm of possibility.
Even though I’d enter the field harboring doubt, I believe that if everything lined up just right, I could still execute a quick, accurate shot on a cackling cock pheasant or fluttering grey ghost screened by brushy obstructions.
Having experienced the routine thousands of times, there’s always a chance, despite my balky knees and diminished eyesight, that my flying target will fold up and lifelessly drop into the soggy tangles.
Wishful thinking?
Likely not.
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